By Mary Mae King

You’re stuck at work missing yet another family event because your boss wasn’t listening when you requested time off weeks ago. You’re a hard worker who barely asks for time off and you explained that you have an annual family camping weekend coming up. However, your boss reminds you that work is a priority if you want to keep your job and neglects respect for employees’ personal lives.

Compassion allows us to connect with others and build stronger relationships. It can also lead to greater happiness and less stress in your life. How you listen to others can affect your ability to be compassionate towards yourself and others.

Assistant Professor of Business Communication and Decision Management from West Texas A&M, Leslie Ramos Salazar was intrigued about how listening styles are related to compassion for others and self-compassion. She predicted that people listening and content listening positively affect aspects of compassion towards others and towards oneself due to higher empathy and engagement. Furthermore, she predicted action and time listening to negatively affect compassion and self-compassion as the variables are concerned with inconsistencies and issues.

Her study, published in Business and Professional Communication Quarterly asked 387 business students about their perceptions of their preferred listening style, their compassion for others and their self-compassion. The questionnaire for listening styles was measured through four subscales representing four styles and included a scale for participants to rate whether each statement applied to them. To measure compassion, another scale asked participants about their social behavior towards themselves and others. Lastly, the questionnaire for self-compassion used a scale-short form where participants indicated the extent of their agreement on 12 statements.

The results of this study present the relationship between various listening styles, compassion, and self-compassion. This study discovered support for linkages between listening styles and the variables of compassion and self-compassion. Researchers found that there is a positive increase in compassion and self-compassion when individuals use people listening. For example, genuinely showing care and concern for a friend during a difficult time relates to person’s overall compassion for others and self. Time listening was negatively associated with compassion though the correlation was not significant. Action listening was negatively associated with compassion and self-compassion. The tendency to make snap judgements without hearing the full message or appearing impatient indicates an overall lack of compassion towards others and self.

Understanding and implementing people listening and avoiding action listening will allow for more compassion for yourself and others. The business world prioritizes efficient communication, but being efficient while also showing concern for others’ emotions during conversation can have a positive and valuable impact.

Next time you’re in a conversation with your boss, provide intentional listening and express compassion for their struggles and maybe they will return the favor!