By: Matthew Millstein

The word empathy comes from the Greek words em and pathos which in English translates to “in feeling.” Empathy is the potential to understand and share the feelings of another person. Practicing empathy can benefit every aspect of an individual’s life and can bring relationships to a new level.

The benefits of empathy include more connectedness, fresh perspectives and healthy conflict management. Several studies indicate that active empathetic-listening is a skill that helps an interpersonal relationship improve. A person must listen without distraction, be fully engaged and attempt to feel what the other individual feels. Research has shown that high active empathetic-listening can help in the workplace and other areas of life.

Researchers from the University of Iceland published a study wherein they tested empathy in the workplace. Kari Kristinsson and her colleagues wanted to know if a supervisor’s active empathetic-listening impacted their employees’ quality of life. To test this question researchers sampled over 400 employees from various companies. The participants were asked to complete two surveys. One survey was about the supervisor’s empathy and the other was about the employee’s quality of life.

For each statement on the survey, participants rated how much they agreed or disagreed on a five-point scale. One example from the empathy survey was, “My direct supervisor summarizes points of agreement and disagreement when appropriate.” An example from the quality of life survey was, “I am satisfied with the career opportunities available to me.” The results of the study found that when supervisors had high active empathetic-listening skills, their employees reported a better quality of life. These employees felt less stressed and happier in their careers and home-life.

The data from this study is important because it found a link between empathy and happiness. Practicing empathy requires an individual to “get in the shoes” of another or according to the Greek, be “in feeling.” If a supervisor takes the time to listen to their employees, the supervisor will be practicing patience. The employees will feel valued because their employer cares about what they are thinking and takes the time to listen to them.

John Greene and Kylie Geiman from Purdue University conducted a study published in Communication Studies. The researchers wanted to know if listening can lead to interpersonal transcendence. Transcendence is a strong word and it describes an experience that seems to not be from the physical world. According to the researchers, interpersonal transcendence is uncommon and is achieved by a pair immersing themselves into each other’s thoughts and feelings. This creates a feeling of equality, an appreciation of new perspectives and a playful relationship. Such experiences can be exciting, unforgettable and rare.

The study’s goal was to examine relationships between different types of listeners and their tendency to experience interpersonal transcendence. The study consisted of 300 participants and they would take several questionnaires designed to test specific listening styles. One questionnaire was about the individual’s active empathetic-listening skills. Like the previous study, participants were asked how much they agreed or disagreed with each statement on a five-point scale.

This study had several categories of questions including self-disclosure, understanding, discovery and play. An example from the play category was, “my conversations with some people involve joking and having fun.” An example from the understanding category was, “I get a sense of satisfaction knowing that other people understand what I mean, even if we don’t share the same viewpoint.” The data collected shows that individuals who scored high on the active empathetic-listening questionnaire experience more interpersonal transcendence.

Active empathetic-listening is not exclusive to employers or others in power. It is a skill that can be learned and practiced by any person. The first step a person should take in practicing empathy is to get rid of distractions in communication. Being fully present, not looking at a cell phone or thinking of the next response, is crucial in practicing empathy. After removing distractions, a person should work on speaking in objective terms with little interpretation of the actual events that took place. Next, each person needs to explain their feelings on the subject and then how they interpreted the event. Lastly, the two people need to attempt to feel what the other person feels and to get into the other person’s point-of-view. The last step requires imagination and creativity. If a person practices this over and over again, they will become more empathetic and the benefits of empathy will flourish.

Researchers have proven that relationships thrive on empathy and is key to a relationship’s success. Empathy is a skill that has the potential to transform interpersonal relationships. These relationships transcend to be very special among two people. It is the catalyst for such relationships, and the benefits are numerous. Individuals feel more connected, valued and happy.  Active empathetic-listening is something every person should strive to do because it creates higher quality of life personally and professionally.