By: Sarah Jenkins
I have an amazing mother. Not only is she generous, hard-working and kind, but she is also the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I love my mom.
However, I grew up in a handful-of-almonds-for-lunch, 600-day-streak-on-MyFitnessPal, coffee-creamer-has-too-many-calories household. My mom would say how “bad” she’s being when we ate dessert together. She would eat hamburgers without the bun because the bread was too fattening. She would scrape all the toppings off of her slice of pizza to avoid the carbs.
My mom, the most beautiful woman I know, would complain about her body.
If she didn’t think that she was thin enough or good enough, then what was I? How could I ever even compare to her?
The way that moms talk about being fat, idealize thinness and their extreme weight loss behaviors affect their daughters’ body dissatisfaction and their unhealthy motivation to lose weight.
Chelsea Jones and Stacy Young, researchers in the Department of Communication Studies at California State University in Long Beach, Cal. conducted a study to see the extent to which mothers’ behaviors, attitudes and words about weight affected their daughters’ perceptions of body image and weight loss. They analyzed the variables of thin-idealization, fat-talk and weight-loss actions performed by mothers to determine how their daughters then perceived themselves.
Thin-idealization is the belief that a thin body is the most desirable. It is universally known as the beauty standard for women, and many strive for it just to be accepted by society.
Repetitive comments about being discontent with the weight or size of one’s body is classified as fat-talk. Inevitably, hearing conversations from other women about how they don’t like their body stirs up insecurity in the impressionable listener. Fat-talk promotes body negativity, social comparison and objectification.
Some weight-loss behaviors model healthy habits. However dieting and extensive exercise in an attempt not to be healthy, but to be thin can make a bad impression on those observing.
Jones and Young sent out an online survey to 469 female students in which the participants responded to various questions about their mothers’ behaviors and their own body dissatisfaction.
They found that the main predictors for daughters’ body dissatisfaction were their mothers’ thin-idealization, fat-talk and extreme weight loss behaviors. The main predictors for daughters’ motivation to lose weight were their mother’s fat-talk and extreme weight loss behaviors. The mothers’ common, or healthy, weight loss behaviors did not show an effect on daughters’ body dissatisfaction or motivation to lose weight.
In other words, mothers’ extensive talk about being fat and idealizing thinness negatively affected their daughters’ body image. Unhealthy weight-loss behaviors that mothers engage in, such as fasting, extreme dieting and relentless exercise, will in turn promote daughters to model these same behaviors.
The study found that daughters’ body image development is highly correlated to their mothers’ messages, attitudes and actions relating to their own bodies. Daughters look up to their moms, and whether they realize it or not, they mimic much of how their mothers behave: good or bad.
Mothers must be aware of the effect their words and actions have on their daughters. They model the behavior they wish to see in their daughters. When mothers exhibit and teach healthy habits, such as healthy eating and exercising to feel good rather than glorify thinness, daughters will develop a positive mindset toward their bodies.
What mothers do in moderation, their daughters may do in excess.
A good rule to have in general is to be conscious of who might be listening when making casual, self-degrading comments. As women, we should model body positivity instead. Daughters look to their mothers for acceptance: Mothers, you first have to accept yourself.
And moms, hear this: you are wonderfully made and more than enough.