Are you a Helicopter Parent?

By: COM 2140 Family Communication Students

COM 2140 Family Communication recently read a research study about family communication patterns and helicopter parenting of first-year college students. The 2021 study published in the Journal of Family Communication found that even well-meaning parents in conversational families engage in behaviors their students perceive as helicopter parenting.

Unfortunately, the study also showed an association between helicopter parenting and low resilience in first-year college students. Other studies show link helicopter parenting to higher levels of depression and life dissatisfaction.

Because helicopter parenting is a matter of student perception, families should have a candid conversation about their student’s expectations for parental involvement. “Certain events may mark crossing the threshold.  Parents should be open to signals from their children about how much involvement is perceived to be too much,” the study noted.

To help spark reflection and conversation, COM 2140 students compiled a list of behaviors based on two helicopter parenting instruments used in research studies and examples they found on blogs and social media.

So, you might be a helicopter parent if…

  • You text your student’s RA
  • You’ve contacted your student’s employer
  • You’ve attended an advising meeting
  • You’ve emailed your student’s professor regarding missed assignments
  • You have called their professor to get them to assign less course work because your student is stressed
  • You’ve emailed the dean/president of the school over a bad grade
  • You chose your student’s college/university
  • You made your student go to a college/university close to home
  • You chose your student’s major
  • You choose your student’s college courses
  • You access your student’s Blackboard or assignments page and check their grades regularly
  • You ground your student when they come home for Christmas break
  • You monitor the food your student is eating
  • You monitor your student’s bank account and how much they spend
  • You pay to have your student’s laundry done for them
  • You track your student’s car/phone
  • You monitor who your student spends time with
  • You download social media apps (i.e., Instagram of BeReal) to keep up with your student
  • You attend every sports event that your student goes to
  • You say that your student can’t date a person because you don’t like them
  • You’ve intervened in a roommate conflict
  • You constantly want to call your student
  • You feel personally responsible when your student makes a poor decision

To dig deeper on this topic, check out these sources…