By: Michael Benkert Edited By: Lydia Doss

To disclose or not to disclose?

That question comes around when you start a new relationship, whether it be a girlfriend, longtime friend, or even a complete stranger.

Why can this be a scary topic?

Because people tend to stay away from risk and vulnerability.

Creating friendships across differing cultures adds complex dynamics, resulting in enriching experiences.

As one of the most studied topics in communication and psychology research, self-disclosure is one of the most important factors in the development of close relationships.

Friendship means different things to different people, especially in various cultures.

So, what makes people that are developing a friendship get to a point where they feel comfortable to reveal and share personal information about themselves?

According to Chen Yea-Wen, who has a Ph.D.  from The University of New Mexico and is an Assistant Professor of Intercultural Communication at San Diego State University, we may have some answers to this!

In his research, he performed a qualitative study that involved 21 sojourning Taiwanese in the United States and 20 sojourning native English speakers in Taiwan.  Interviews were conducted where each of the participants were asked a series of identical questions so they could provide personal accounts and open-ended responses.

The following questions were based on their experiences making friends with people in the host country: do your intercultural friendships develop in a different way or at a different pace compared with your friendships with friends from your own cultures?  And in terms of sharing and disclosing personal information, do your friendships with casual intercultural friends differ or are they similar with your friendships with good intercultural friends?

There were four categories that emerged from the data, which demonstrate how the sojourners in this study self-disclosed differently or similarly to the members of the host country.  The four categories were: orientation and initial attraction stage, exploratory stage, pendulum stage and stability exchange stage.

I see the orientation and initial attraction stage as the most interesting and intriguing.  The first interaction with someone, especially someone from different culture, can certainly be difficult.

The sojourning Taiwanese in this study were surprised at how friendly and verbally expressive the strangers were from the United States.

This shows how people of low-context and horizontal Western cultures tend to value self-disclosure more than those of high-context and vertical Eastern cultures.

Perceived advantage functions as an extra incentive for self-disclosure and verbal communication.  One sojourning Taiwanese mentioned in her interview that she likes to make friends with Americans, but that process is also a very good way to practice and improve her English.

Similarities and shared interests have been found to be the basis for friendship formation in the Western cultures.  In contrast, none of the sojourning Taiwanese mentioned in their interviews having shared interests with strangers in the host society.

Regarding physical attraction, the sojourning native English speakers reported that the Taiwanese females were more open-mined and interesting, spoke better English, were more willing to assist them, and had stronger desires to spend time socializing with them than did Taiwanese males.

A diverse group of friends offers increased resources and knowledge, giving you the ability to find more passions and interests.  You may learn about what you like and dislike too, what attracts and repels you and about what you’d like to learn more.

In a study by Georgia Andrea Maier and colleagues, published in The Journal of Intercultural Research, they found that Americans have a higher level of self-disclosure intent than Romanians.

One explanation may be that Americans are more inclined than Romanians to value the role of self-disclosure in relationships.  They also disclose to friends mainly for relationship maintenance and enhancement.

As an individualistic, low-context culture that values independence and openness, it doesn’t surprise me that Americans express a high willingness to communicate and to self-disclose.

Romanians, on the other hand, are found to perceive a higher level of closeness in friendships than Americans.  They perceive their friends as being more understanding, caring, supportive, and intimate than Americans.

While communicating with people they do not know well, Romanians address these people by surname and they tend to be very polite, formal, and reserved.  However, when interacting with friends and family members, they fully and openly reveal themselves out of need for commitment to others, appreciation, and affection for each other.

When Americans reveal themselves to their friends, their self-disclosure seems to be more out of concern with self-expression, rather than with building an intimate friendship.  This is why they self-disclose to strangers as well.

In order to enjoy the benefits of intercultural friendships, you must make an active effort to educate others about your own values and beliefs without imposing them onto another.

There is no question that self-disclosure is key in developing close relationships.  Both of these studies highlighted the cultural differences in self-disclosure and emotional closeness and the values placed on self-disclosure across cultures.