BY MICHAEL PAYNE

EDITED BY RYAN BIGELOW

INTRODUCTION

For many people in the LGBTQ community, coming to terms with their own sexuality is one battle, but having to disclose their sexuality to others is often the hardest part of their journey.

It is important to note that every person is different, and each person is in a different stage of coming to terms with who they are. Disclosing this piece of information to someone can be extremely scary, and is oftentimes confusing.  

When is it okay to disclose your sexuality? What factors contribute to a person wanting to come out to someone? Does the geographical location and socioeconomic level of the location impact when someone comes out?

IMPACT OF DISCLOSING SEXUALITY

Disclosing your sexuality to the people that you love most, can be both nerve racking and beneficial. People often are afraid of what their loved ones may think about them.

A research study conducted by Breshears and Braithwaite, Discursive Struggles Animating Individuals’ Talk About Their Parents’ Coming Out as Lesbian or Gay, examined the struggles of parents who identify as LGBTQ coming out to their children.

The research found that one reason that a parent was hesitant to come out to their child was because they did not want their child to deal with the negative views that surround the LGBTQ community.

One of the participants recalled what it was like for her when her peers found out that her mom was openly disclosing her sexuality.

She said, “When you start talking about it at school…you learn real quickly that it’s not really something that was really expressed or accepted openly at school…People started, you know, to use the word ‘fag’ or ‘homo, or, you know, your typical slang words.

“I mean, back when all the, you know, jokes would start to come out and, you know, ‘fag this,’ ‘gay this, gay that,’ and that’s when you start to realize, ‘Okay, I actually can’t tell this person.’ I believe my dad kind of warned us about it. You know, it’s not something that you want to run around bragging about. You know, there’s repercussions that’ll come from it.”

LGBTQ parents realize that their children could face bullying and other discrimination so sometimes, they choose not to disclose their sexuality to their children.

CHOOSING WHEN TO DISCLOSE

A research study, titled To Be or Not To Be Out in the Classroom: Exploring Communication Privacy Management Strategies of Lesbian, Gay, and Queer College Teachers, conducted by McKenna-Buchanan, Munz, and Rudnick looked at how professors disclosed their sexuality.

They discovered that cultural, gendered, risk/benefit, contextual, and motivational factors all influenced their coming out, however, that culture was most relevant.

Both geographic location and sociopolitical climate are vital in a person’s decision to come out.

Researchers uncovered the story of a thirty-eight-year-old, white, gay, assistant professor from the American Midwest, Jeremy, who because of the culture of his community, felt comfortable disclosing his sexuality to students.

Conversely, Robin, a thirty-four-year-old professor at a small private university in the South, does not feel comfortable coming out to her students because of the potential judgement from her students.

These are two of the many examples of how the culture of a geographical region impacts the decision for a person to come out. Choosing when to self-disclose is tricky, but being able to read your audience and the culture can help when picking the right time.  

CONCLUSION

Disclosing your sexuality is a large milestone for anyone to overcome whether you live in the South or Midwest, are rich or poor, or are a parent disclosing your sexuality for the first time to your child.

It is important to know that it may never be the “perfect” time to come out to someone, but it is completely up to the individual to decide whether they are ready to let others in on their journey.

The research shows it is difficult to come out. It takes courage to show a hostile world your true self.