Tips and tricks to help catch that perfect bae

BY LEAH NELSON

EDITED BY LAURA DURR

Is there a stunning new guy in the office? Did you catch that cutie’s eye from across the bar? Do you want to make a move but you don’t know how?

Good news for all the singles out there — you don’t have to wait for them to make the first move anymore! Times are changing, and the power is in your hands.

In fact, according to a study led by Jeffery Hall at the University of Kansas, women who wait around for a man to approach them feel less confident, are less romantically successful and experience less emotional connection.

So don’t just hang around bummed out that you aren’t talking to that attractive guy or gal. Get out there and take charge. Flirting is an art, so here are a few tips for how to catch that perfect mate.

I couldn’t help but notice that you look a lot like my next boyfriend.

First impressions are important. The first words that leave your mouth can make or break a potential relationship, so choose carefully.

If one of your girlfriends knows a hot fellow, get her to introduce you to him.

According to research done by professors at West Virginia University and published in Communication Research Reports, having a trusted friend introduce you to a potential mate is the most effective way to meet someone because there is already a rapport built before you even meet.

However, if you want to talk to that random cutie in the bar, just go up and introduce yourself directly. Don’t try to be cutesy-funny with a cheesy pick up line. The research shows that a simple ‘My name is… what’s yours?’ will work just fine.

I’m not sure what to do with my hands?

Not good with words? Nonverbal come-ons say a thousand.

Physical flirting can even lead to more fluent conversations. And even if you’re already a silver-tongued devil, the little things you do that you may not be aware of can leave a big impression.

Hall suggests that people who are comfortable with physically expressing the desire for a relationship are more successful at gaining emotional connections and establishing sexual chemistry.

According to a follow up study to Hall’s research done by Chong Xing at the University of Kansas, ‘palming,’ or speaking with open hands, is a subtle, if not peculiar way, to indicate interest.

Avoid crossing your arms and adjusting your hair or clothes — these are both signs of disinterest and boredom.

Instead, lean toward that babe at the copier or shoot them a coy glance from across the office. Don’t think they’re getting the point? They probably are.

Guys perceive nonverbal communication as flirtier than women do and are more likely to attribute it to sexual intent, based on research done by professors at the University of Wisconsin and published in Human Communication Research.

But be careful — guys sometimes see what they want to see even if you don’t mean it that way. So be aware of what’s being communicated without words and make sure you and the hottie are on the same page.

You don’t know me, but I know me.

So now that you’ve gotten their attention, what do you say that’ll keep them around? When in doubt, Hall insists that showing sincere interest in an emotional connection leads to high success in initial interactions.

Showing genuine attentiveness and curiosity leads to more meaningful relationships. Don’t be afraid to disclose personal information and ask plenty of questions, according to Xing.

Don’t change yourself to fit your love interest and say things that you think they want to hear — this takes away from the sincerity.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t act just a little bit to make yourself more appealing, just be aware of compromising your values.

Teasing generally doesn’t walk hand-in-hand with authenticity, so try to avoid poking fun at your crush, even if it is good-natured.

Be yourself, that’s your best chance of getting them.

Might as well have fun while we can and save the serious stuff for later.

If the love of your life isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, never fear. Flirting can simply be for fun, too.

In fact, Xing says, many women use this type of short-term flirting as a self-esteem booster. So if a fast-paced, no-commitment fling is what you’re chasing, flirt your heart out.

Throw out compliments and lots of them and keep an open body posture. But also add a hint of mystery to keep them intrigued.

According to Xing’s research, throwing a coy glance once in a while or acting mildly disinterested should do the trick. Once you are able to artfully blend directness and subtlety, then you’ll be a master casual flirt.

So get out there and make the most of your day. Chat with the new stunning guy at the office, introduce yourself to the cute girl the bar. You now have the tools for a successful first encounter. Go get ‘em!