How to stretch the truth and get away with it

BY LINDSEY BARCHENT 

EDITED BY LAURA DURR

We have all been there. You are celebrating your birthday with your family and you open a present from your grandmother. She’s knitted you another sweater! It isn’t that you don’t like the sweater, but knit just isn’t really your style.

Or maybe your least favorite coworker asks you to come to a party he is having and you need to get out of it. You don’t exactly have plans for this Saturday, but that doesn’t mean something could easily come up.

Before we go further, you should know that honesty truly is the best policy. However, there are some exceptions, such as the examples above. Lying to save the feelings of others – what researchers call prosocial lying – is considered to be socially acceptable as long as it is done correctly.

So you see, the point of this article is not to encourage lying, but rather to teach you how to convincingly stretch the truth. And hey, we would all be lying if we said we never did that.

For those of you that are embracing the art of deception, I have good news for you! There are multiple research studies that can help us in this exact situation. That’s right, research has been conducted that teaches us how to get away with a lie – rather, stretching the truth.

If you think that speaking vocally is the only way to convince someone that you are telling the truth, then I have some sad news for you: you’re wrong.

According to a classic study on deception by Robert Kraut from Cornell University, verbal statements will make listeners suspect you are either telling the truth or lying, but it is your nonverbal behaviors that will confirm their suspicions.

Don’t worry! We have some steps you can take to make sure that honesty is the only thing being said by your nonverbal cues. Follow these tips and you will soon be a master of deception:

Avoid Hesitation

Coming up with a response quickly is tough, especially when divulging the whole truth is not an option. However, in order to get away with deception, you must be able to think quickly or abort the mission.

In the previously mentioned study, it was found that hesitating before responding was one of the biggest indicators that someone was lying. How do you overcome this? Practice, practice, practice!

Mentally store ideas for a variety of responses, because you will never know when you will need them. Spend some time thinking of these, “I promised I would call my mom at the time of your party” probably won’t cut it. Instead, try “I volunteered to babysit for a family friend that night.”

Don’t Overuse Gestures

It is easy to get caught up in a story and ramble on, getting more excited as you go. Just make sure that your hand gestures don’t increase with your excitement.

In the study done by Italian researchers from the University of Bergamo about the impact hand gestures have on the suspicion of deception, it was found that when we are being less than honest, many different types of hand gestures increase throughout our communication.

While sitting on your hands may also raise suspicion, be careful not to overdo it on the gestures. There is no need to be a statue, but carefully placing your gestures could make all the difference in getting away with stretching the truth.

Ladies Only: Increase Leg/Foot Movement

Two professors from the University of Southern California and Texas Christian University teamed up to study the differences in deception based on gender. They found that women tend to move their legs and feet more frequently when telling the truth than when being dishonest.

If you want people to believe what you are telling them, try moving your legs a bit as you speak. This does not mean to do a tap dance in the middle of a response to a question, but some natural leg movements could decrease suspicion that you are lying.

Gentlemen Only: Cool it on the Facial Expressions

In the same study, it was found that males who were being deceptive used more facial expressions than males who were being completely honest.

This probably has to do with the need to be animated while telling a story. Keep in mind: you’re not telling a story; you’re telling the (slightly stretched) truth. No need for facial animation, keep it simple!

As discussed previously, honestly is the best policy when you find yourself in non-prosocial lying situations. However, in those situations where you find yourself needing to stray a little bit away from complete honesty for the sake of others’ feelings, these steps will help to ensure that no one suspects anything out of the ordinary.

Sometimes the things we don’t vocalize end up saying more than we hoped to. Paying attention to what our nonverbal cues are telling people is essential in everyday life.

Go forth and master the art of deception!